Pissed off - everything´s gonna be alright
I have been home in Budapest for around 5 weeks now. Before, I was in Sweden 5 weeks. And before... 9 months in Dachau. A time to forget. Like this day today. I am so pissed off... I have plans in my life and I am pretty used to manage those plans. Don´t think I will give up this time either! Never! But I had to experience a very hard personal disappointment today. It is all my fault. It´s too late to apologize now, that I realize. I wish I could turn back time, because this mistake I made was so cheap and unnecessary! Not like the consequenses that are expensive and sadly neccessary. How could I just do something stupid like this?
Well, I wasn´t in the best situation to pass anyways, that I have to tell. Sleeping 5 hours a day since a couple of days, not really studying on the theoretical part of the test, not feeling sure about the driving part... and the biggest mistake of all: not believing in myself! Don´t you ever do that to yourself! I will work on it as well, I promise!
I think you might just have realized what I am talking about. If not, here it is; my big fat f**ing failure of the day. The first part of the driving test to get the driving licence, the "Routine exam". Everything started optimally. My teacher told us we get a nice guy that will examine us, he won´t try to make us fail. Puh. That´s luck. I managed the parts I thought were the hardest: checking the car before driving away, and all the obligatory drills. Then there was one more drill that I had to make. My second favourite!!! Yes yes yes, I was really happy. It felt like I had it! But not in a too confident way, just in a realistic one. So I am doing this last drill, the one I have never failed during the driving lessons. Then suddenly I get too close to the edge and have to make a correction with the car. That is allowed. But since I never had to do that before, I did it wrong. I only had to go half a meter more to manage the whole exam, when the car went too close again. This is it. It was over. The teacher took over the driving, back to the depressing parcing space to discuss how much money and time I just lost because of a shitty little thing.
I am really pissed off...
Well, I wasn´t in the best situation to pass anyways, that I have to tell. Sleeping 5 hours a day since a couple of days, not really studying on the theoretical part of the test, not feeling sure about the driving part... and the biggest mistake of all: not believing in myself! Don´t you ever do that to yourself! I will work on it as well, I promise!
I think you might just have realized what I am talking about. If not, here it is; my big fat f**ing failure of the day. The first part of the driving test to get the driving licence, the "Routine exam". Everything started optimally. My teacher told us we get a nice guy that will examine us, he won´t try to make us fail. Puh. That´s luck. I managed the parts I thought were the hardest: checking the car before driving away, and all the obligatory drills. Then there was one more drill that I had to make. My second favourite!!! Yes yes yes, I was really happy. It felt like I had it! But not in a too confident way, just in a realistic one. So I am doing this last drill, the one I have never failed during the driving lessons. Then suddenly I get too close to the edge and have to make a correction with the car. That is allowed. But since I never had to do that before, I did it wrong. I only had to go half a meter more to manage the whole exam, when the car went too close again. This is it. It was over. The teacher took over the driving, back to the depressing parcing space to discuss how much money and time I just lost because of a shitty little thing.
I am really pissed off...
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